This guide lists the endings to Kyle is Hotdog in a rough manner, spoilers ahead.
Endings of Kyle is Hotdog (DLC)
Judging from its description many of the original game’s endings will be adapted into different ones. By that I mean the choices you make to get to the original endings will grant you different ones if Kyle chooses to return to his passion of hotdog sales.
Guesses for what may be:
- Techno Jim will betray Kyle by refusing to sell hotdogs to starving children. Kyle, finally seeing Techno Jim for the soulless, unempathetic, paper-thin-moralled monstrous cardboard cutout that he is, decides to take it into his own hands to defeat his former friend in “Hold-his-head-against-the-grill-until-he’s-dead to stand-there-and-catch-fire-like-a-champ combat. Whoever wins will surely become the world’s greatest hotdog seller of all time!
- Kyle will have to compete against leprechauns in their food-selling rivalry; Kyle selling delicious hotdoggy goodness, the leprechauns selling deep-fat fried chocolate gold coins and lucky charms. They will duke it out in a war of sales, winner takes all, and, knowing Kyle, he will probably eat the loser too. Whoever wins will surely become the world’s greatest hotdog seller of all time!
- Kyle will ascend to his god-like throne of hotdogs after having defeated all his foes and turning them into hotdogs. He shall rule the world with an iron hotdog-rolling-device, ensuring that all anyone ever eats is Kyle-brand hotdogs. This naturally causes megatonnes of food to go to waste as worthless pig-feed. Due to the sudden over-dependence on pigs for a foodsource pigs begin to die out, which leads to a massive volume of pig-feed not being eaten. Rats, being the opportunistic scavengers that they are, suddenly thrive wherever there are pig farms, growing to immense sizes able to fend off all but humanity itself.
Kyle hears of the plight of the pig farmers, too few pigs and too many oversized rats. Kyle therefore decrees that the rats shall be turned into hotdogs for daring to eat anything but his
Kyle-brand hotdogs. But the rats prove too many, and their burrows too deep. Kyle’s hotdog-acquisition-army flounder in their attempts at fighting this unconventional foe. Kyle banned the use of chemical, biological, and radioactive weapons while acquiring hotdogs so they couldn’t poison, infect, or nuke their deep-bunkered foe, and due to their lack of awareness as to how deep their tunnels went they also couldn’t safely suffocate the rats to death either. Kyle’s advisers proposed the use of dogs. Dogs were capable of fitting into the tunnels without having their movement severely hampered like a human would, but they proved uneffective as the rats had grown far stronger than normal rats and had lost their fear of anything that wasn’t at least twice their size. Luckily no dogs were hurt in the rat-war as Kyle had given them all emergency time-machines that would teleport them straight to Kyle’s hotdog-factory-and-dog-kennel nearby. When they would arrive is anyone’s guess as the factory wouldn’t be finished until the war was over, and such a thing was far out of reach for now.
As the war dragged on more and more hotdot-acquisition casualties piled up until it was no longer feasible to fight the rats. And so the war was lost, and the rats surged across the land, eating everything in sight — much like another plague of small, ravenous things Kyle has released upon the world in an attempt to make the world happy and merry.
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