Incredibly major spoilers, if not obvious.
Floor 1: Pepperman
Pepperman is one of the easiest bosses in this game to beat, which should be obvious since he’s the first. Every single one of his attacks are both easily dodgeable and parryable, so I will not give any instruction for them unless needed.
Both Phase 1 and 2 have the same attacks, though Phase 2 operates much faster with them.
- Simple Dash: Pepperman does a normal wind-up and dash towards you into the wall.
- Dash Fake-Out: This attack replicates the Simple Dash, but upon passing you, Pepperman turns around and immediately dashes into the other wall instead.
- Ground Pound: Tossing the dash, Pepperman jumps into the air and attempts to crush you.
- Ground Pound Bound: Following a Ground Pound, Pepperman bounces into the air while vulnerable. They can bounce off of walls as well. Parrying is recommended to be able to add some time to the vulnerability, as well as uppercutting to hit him before he lands, assuming you can judge where he will move.
- Art Block: Pepperman will repeatedly perform a Dash Fake-Out, but without any vulnerability. However, a block will appear at one side of the room, and you will have to repeatedly dash into it to create a statue that he will freeze to admire, becoming vulnerable.
There will be environmental obstacles meant to add difficulty, including crude drawing enemies that crawl across the room, and statues that fall from the ceiling (and slide in from the walls in Phase 2.). The only killable obstacle is the drawing monsters, which can be easily knocked out by tossing Pepperman into them, or even letting him dash into them. The ceiling statues can easily be avoided, but I recommend uppercutting over or parrying the side statues.
Note that you should be facing AWAY from the statue, as Peppino’s parry sends you a few steps in the direction you aren’t facing. This means that if you parry while facing the statue, you will most likely move back into it and take damage.
His final attack will be him turning small, attempting to avoid you while being constantly vulnerable. If left unharmed, he will grow back to normal size and constantly perform a Ground Pound Bound until attacked again, reverting back to his final attack. I recommend letting him run to the corners, and then jumping a slight bit before dashing, as he always jumps just high enough to avoid it if you dash on the ground. You can also attempt to catch him straight away the moment he shrinks, before he starts running.
After you hit him in his final attack, congrats, you’ve P-Ranked Pepperman!
Floor 2: The Vigilante
Warning: Take everything I say for attacks with a grain of salt. Some of these are complex patterns, and most likely incorrect.
A key thing to know about the Vigilante battle is that you are caught in a literal gunfight. You cant tackle Vig, and have to instead shoot him with a gun that replaces any moves involving the dash button. However, this does provide you with a new, much cheesier attack that I would like to call “The Cheap Charge”.
The Cheap Charge
This can be done with every attack, though some are much harder to pull off than others. Upon passing any previous attack and dealing damage, immediately pay attention to Vig’s bounces. When hurt, Vig always bounces THREE times. You should always start charging your shot around that third and final bounce. It takes a bit of luck, but if timed right, your shot will fire and hit him barely after he becomes vulnerable again. This gives you enough time to barely shoot another few fast shots and immediately damage him, mostly skipping his attack.
You will still have to hit him a few times afterward in some cases because he moves too fast for the final fast shots, but you always have a chance to hit him with the charged shot. Missed your chance? Dont sweat it! Youll just have to go through the attack for a bit and then you can pick it back up in the next attack.
Now for the attacks, Vig has multiple moves that are grouped together for each attack. This includes:
- Shooting a gun and firing straight horizontal bullets,
- Suddenly growing cowboy boots for a slide attack,
- Throwing dynamite (Note that the dynamite doesnt hurt you in midair, only the explosion damages),
- Leaping into the air and shooting at the ground (These are very hard to parry, let alone pass through without damage),
- Firing a bazooka and causing a wave attack across the arena,
- Sliding around with a flamethrower,
- And sending in a crate with an angry, bouncing cow (This cow is destructible, as all cows are).
Along with that, stage hazards will appear during the fight, such as a periodical cardboard cutout that blocks your bullets until destroyed, and specific attacks summoning the ghost of his dead grandpa. I personally recommend destroying the cutouts between attacks unless its necessary to prioritize it, and putting grandad in his grave for the second time when you have the chance to.
As for attacks, they are combined like this:
- Two gunshots and a boot-slide (Easily avoidable. You can parry while charging shots too, so if you want to you can simply parry through the bullets to hit him with an easy charge shot, and pick the rest off of him after the slide.)
- Infinite dynamite sticks (Just spam shots and move slightly toward him with every dynamite throw until he stops.)
- Leap and two dynamite sticks (These should be easy if you follow the Cheap Charge correctly. If not, hit him while hes throwing dynamite and charging the leap.)
- Leap and four gunshots (Same here, only shoot him at the gunshots and leap charge if you arent able to use the Cheap Charge.)
- Infinite boot-slides (No tips here, this is easy to beat.)
- Bazooka, then boot-slide (Grandpa moment) (This can kill a LOT of runs. You just have to have enough skill to get around the first shot, and then manage to kill Gramps, and then youre good for the rest of the attack if you can jump over the waves.)
- Two dynamite sticks and a flamethrower rush (Grandpa moment) (This is actually kind of easy to avoid if you stand far enough away. Also make sure to take care of Gramps.)
- Flamethrower rush (Also easily avoidable if you stand far enough.)
- Cow-Call (Just keep shooting at him and avoid the cow.)
Quick Tip: If you damage Vig fast enough during Cow-Calls, he wont summon the cow and instead move onto the next attack. This takes some luck with the Cheap Charge, though!
In Phase 2, the sky immediately turns red and the fight turns to shadowy silhouettes. The attacks dont increase in difficulty (Though the combinations do), but its a big visual hazard.
The Phase 2 attacks are:
- Infinite dynamite sticks (Like before, move toward him with each throw.)
- Boot-slide, then… (Ill be honest, I usually kill him before he can move to the next attack in this pattern. Its easy to hurt him during the boot-slide.)
- Infinite Gunshots (Just parry-charge and youll be through with it really fast.)
- More infinite dynamite??? (I think Im missing something here.)
- Cow-Call, then flamethrower rush (Dont forget the quick tip! Also, if you do let him summon the cows, try to make your priority killing them in this attack or the next two attacks.)
- Cow-Call, then leap (Grandpa Moment)(See the previous Cow-Call.)
- Cow-Call, then boot-slides (See the previous Cow-Call.)
- Boot-slides (This should be easy if youve cleared out any previous cows.)
- Gunshots (Parry-charge. Again, this should be easy if you’ve cleared out the cows.)
For his final attack, you both are in a good old quick draw. Shoot before he does, and you defeated the Vigilante. Good job!
Floor 3: The Noise
The Noise is a bit difficult to beat, but easy to practice. A unique feature of his boss fight is that his attack pattern is not actually an attack pattern. Instead, all of his attacks are randomized.
Since all attacks here are randomized, there isnt exactly an order of attacks but more of a list. HOWEVER, even with this problem, you do have the ability to cheese the fight slightly. There is a small moment at the start where Noise taunts you before he actually starts fighting. The window may seem impossibly small to hit him, but you are actually able to attack if you spam the grab button. This automatically skips an attack, which most of the time is Skateboard 1.
- Skateboard 1: Noise hops on a skateboard, and rides across the floor. This is easy to both jump over or parry. In fact, you might skip this attack altogether with the starting cheese.
- Skateboard 2: This is the same as Skateboard 1, with the difference that after the turnaround, Noise tries to jump over you. This is mainly supposed to trip up people that jump over him for this attack, but if you primarily parry, or even just stand there while he jumps over you, you likely wont get hit.
- Jetpack 1: Noise jumps up in the air, and tries to rush you with a jetpack. However, after he dives he’ll bounce off of the floor and walls before stopping. For this version, he always immediately stops after he bounces off of one wall. I recommend just jumping over or parrying his dive, and then waiting by his likely landing spot to attack.
- Jetpack 2: Same here, but he stops after he bounces off TWO walls instead of one. Do the same here, but be a bit more careful about his trajectory.
- Bomb 1: Noise hops up onto a balloon platform and drops 1 bomb before shortly falling. I seriously recommend parrying this bomb as they fall to make them explode without damage. Its much more difficult to parry or avoid them altogether after they hit the floor.
- Bomb 2: Same thing here, but 2 bombs drop instead of 1.
- Pogo 1: Noise bounces around 4 times on a pogo stick. This is pretty easily avoidable, but its hard to find a straightforward strategy. I recommend standing out at the corner, because it’s likely hell be stuck bouncing into the wall, but simply running under him as he bounces over you works too.
- Pogo 2: This is the same thing, but theres a chance for one of the bounces to drop a bomb. This is actually a seriously big deal, and I recommend you either parry it immediately or avoid it altogether. Also avoid moving into corners as compared to Pogo 1, where if you get unlucky a bomb will spawn and you have two different attacks cornering and most likely damaging you.
Phase 2 has similar but more dangerous attacks. However, a blimp in the background of Noise himself will close in on the arena, spawning frequent Noise copies that walk around. These act similar to those guys with the forks in John Gutter, hurting you if you dash into their nose (It’s very pointy, I guess). You MIGHT be able to pick them up from the back and throw them at Noise, but Ive never tried it myself. You are 100% able to jump on them and stun them, though.
The 3rd and 4th versions of most attacks in phase 2 are pretty similar, so these will actually be listed together, along with any differences between the two.
- Skateboard 3 & 4: These renditions are pretty much the same as Skateboard 2, with the major difference being that at the end, Noise will kick his skateboard towards you. It wont damage you, but will trap you and send you into the wall. This makes you unable to attack Noise in his taunt. He can also jump off of walls and keep his momentum, though this has rarely happened in my runs. The only thing to acknowledge here is to jump over the skateboard when he kicks it (I haven’t tried it, but I doubt that it’s parry-able).
- Jetpack 3 & 4: These versions of the attack are much longer than Jetpack 2, and end with Noise comically exploding with a bigger area of damage than the other bounces. Like before, watch out for his trajectory.
- Bomb 3 & 4: At first, these versions appear to be the exact same as Bomb 2, with Noise dropping 2 bombs (Which, by the way, I extremely recommend you parry) from a high platform and then dropping down. However, once you get close to him, it turns out he himself is a fake Noise, and in reality, another bomb. The real Noise then drops in above you after the former Noise’s explosion (OR the latter Noise could also be a bomb, in which case rinse and repeat until the next one doesn’t blow up when you get close). I recommend standing beside but not far from the Noises’ landing spots, so you can make sure they aren’t a bomb faster. If they are, they will immediately get ready to blow up, and you can walk a few steps away. If they aren’t, since you checked at the very start of their vulnerability, you have lots of time to tackle them.
- Pogo 3 & 4: I think these two might honestly be the exact same attack. Similar to Pogo 2, Noise bounces around on a pogo stick with a chance to spawn a bomb on one of those bounces. However, at the end of the attack, he will have a fifth powerful bounce that causes an arena-wide wave attack (Think of the Vigilante’s bazooka). Simply remember to jump over that wave (Use a midair uppercut if you want to for good measure) and avoid any spawned bombs.
Noise’s final attack consists of suddenly getting a minigun, but then comedically being pulled away by his girlfriend (…I think. He seems really upset with her, and at the same time I dont know the lore lol).
Needless to say, there is no actual final attack, and you win P-Rank when you beat Phase 2. Good job!
Floor 4: Fake Peppino
Believe me when I say that Fake Peppino does not let you take a break at all. All of F.P.’s attacks center around R.P.’s (Real Peppino’s) attacks and moves.
Phase 1 is more of a test on endurance than skill, but it will build up in phase 2. Each attack needs you to tackle F.P. twice to make him vulnerable to damage. Between each hit you land on him, there is a sort of survival phase where a group of invincible F.P.s attack you until it moves to the next attack.
Attack 1: Grab
This first attack is kind of simple, with F.P. running around and trying to grab you. If he does, he will lick(???) you and deal damage. This attack is unparryable, and you have to avoid him. I suggest jumping over him when hes dashing with his grab.
Attack 1.5: Grab Mob
~6 F.P. clones will spawn to grab you, one at a time. Upon dashing, they’ll immediately despawn. Try to make a sort of rhythm with jumping over them. I like to parry immediately when I hit the ground, not to block an attack but to keep a consistent time between each jump.
Attack 2: Jump???
Ill be honest, not completely sure what attack is being mimicked here, but F.P. will crouch down and leap into the air frog style. You can throw in your first hit before he jumps, and your second hit immediately after he hits the ground to hurt him quick.
Attack 2.5: Jump Mob
I literally just stood in the middle of the room, and no one could touch me. Multiple F.P. clones will spawn and perform the same frog-leap, but if you stand in the center of the room, the clones will leap too far forward, and wont have enough speed to reach you when they turn around. Note that these leaps CANT hurt you on the way up, only on the way down.
Attack 3: Mach Run
As soon as F.P. reappears here, hit him ASAP. You wont be able to hit him more than once for a few moments, because hell speed up into a mach run where he runs up one wall, across the ceiling, and down the other wall repeatedly. It’s easy to both jump over him and parry him, but itll take a while before he slows down and you can attack him again.
Attack 3.5: Mach Run Mob
Multiple F.P. clones will spawn on either side of the room, running up their respective walls and across the ceiling. However, when theyre directly above you, they will immediately drop onto you. Just take a few steps to the side when a clone drops to fall on you. If you end up in the corner, just dash away. The clones dont hurt you when they run up the walls, so you dont have to worry about anything but the falling ones.
Attack 4: Super Jump
F.P. will jump off of the walls and ceiling. Thats about it. I recommend attacking him before he jumps for the first time so you can hit him again afterward. He still deals contact damage after he lands on the floor, so only dash into him when he’s clearly back to his original state.
Attack 4.5: Super Jump Mob
This is just a simple “sit-in-the-gap” attack where you run into the gap between attacks to remain unharmed. Not much to say here.
Attack 5: Head… throw…
Okay, so maybe this isnt exactly an attack mimicking one of R.P.’s attacks. F.P. literally takes his head off, and throws it at you, exposing his brain. Realizing it really hurts to have no head, F.P. then charges straight for it. You CAN hit him twice before he charges, but if you dont feel confident then just hit him once, then jump over or behind him and let him get his head before you hit him again.
Attack 5.5: Headless Mob
A ton of F.P. clones without heads will charge from either side of the arena, and the final one will not charge but throw another head at you. I recommend just jumping over them, as this requires a lot of good parrying. As for the head, you can either jump and midair-uppercut to make sure you dont get hit, or maybe you could just try parrying only it.
Attack 6: Super Taunt
F.P. jumps up and pulls a goofy-looking super-parry, which causes multiple little stars to bounce around the room. Just deal with him like you would in Attack 1, while simultaneously avoiding said stars.
Attack 6.5: Taunt/Headless Wombo Combo
Two different types of F.P. clones appear here. Most of them are ones that mimic the Super Taunt attack with much shorter range, pushing you toward the center of the arena. Another rarer type acts like the Headless Mob, sometimes running across the screen for you to jump over.
After this attack ends, Phase 2 starts. There are no intermissions between attacks here, and F.P. is available to hit at all times. However, his attacks are combined with various clones from Phase 1. His attacks follow this order:
- F.P. does his grab attack while mach run clones spawn.
- F.P. does his jump attack with other jumping clones.
- F.P. does his mach run with other mach run clones.
- F.P. does his super jump with headless running clones.
- F.P. does his head throw with other clones throwing heads as well.
- F.P. does his super taunt with mach run clones.
For his final attack, the floor beneath you suddenly crumbles, and youre immediately sent into an escape from a much larger F.P.. You CANNOT attack him, and you just have to keep going until you get to the door at the end. Once you exit, youve finally “defeated” Fake Peppino. Good job!